Dear New Balance:
I am writing to you regarding my concern for the wellbeing of your shoe designers. Your shoes look like the product of tie dying elephand dung, and somehow adding a gross faux-silver palmer. They are truly horrible. You may pride yourselves on the shoes comfort – however when they have an appearance worse then old shoes thrown about the side of the highway, it is hard for consumers to purchase these.
Wearing a pair of new balance shoes, is like showering in others urine – it feels good, until you realize what your doing. I would like to applaud anyone who has the courage to wear these …uhh… fine pieces of manufacturing. I strongly recommend each and everyone of you goes out to your favorite hardwear store, barefoot and purchases a can of spraypaint before anyone sees you are wearing these.
I simply cannot comprehend how comfortable these shoes must be to overcome their horrible aesthetics.
I hope these shoe designers have a good reason for making these so horrible maybe they were drunk, high, or both.
Sincererly,
Anon
Look at these beasts:
Reece’s Pieces Vomit
Mustard and Fish Eggs
Solidified Bee Carcuss Paté
Don’t worry there are many more. If you ever are in the mood to vomit, possibly trying to loose weight I highly recommend visiting the NewBalance product page.
I am a high school athlete and always believe on New Balance running shoes for a better comfort and superior performance.